This post is off-topic from skating. This blog is also about my little girl. And well this post is about the loss she is going through right now. We just got back from the funeral home an hour or so ago for my daughter's friend and classmate, Melanie. We ate dinner and I got my little girl settled into bed. There have been just a few times in my life where I've actually been afraid for my life and well-being. When I was pregnant with my daughter I was thrown from a neighbor's horse. He had teased me about being scared and pretty much forced me into riding this horse he had just bought. I knew better. But I couldn't stand his teasing. While I was being bucked I remember thinking this is not how I want to die at 23 years old. I haven't ridden since. Occasionally people like to tell me about the proverbial horse. Well let me tell ya - proverbial horses can't kill ya but real ones can. I know that accidents happen and we can't live our lives being afraid. After all, living is the only worth dying for. There are some fates worse than death like actually having to live through being bucked, thrown, stomped and drug to death (or nearly to death). My God, what that poor little girl must have went through waiting to die.
Friday night my daughter sat down and wrote out her list of people to invite to her birthday party. She wrote Melanie's name at the top of her list. When I told her that Melanie had died she said now Melanie won't be able to come my birthday party. A few more thoughts from my daughter.. Melanie won't be able to turn eight. Melanie won't get to be what she wanted to be when she grows up. She said Thank you Mom for taking care of me and not letting me die. I told her that Melanie's parents didn't let her die. She's been really sad and clingy the past 2 days. I slept with her Sunday night - something I rarely do. I know she's scared now that she could die too. We all think we are too young to die.
Hug your babies whether they are one years old or seven or twenty or fifty. You are never too young to die. Tell all the people that you love "I love you" and listen when they say it. When I tell my brother I love you he says "I love you too but I'm not going to die; you're not going to die."
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4 comments:
Rene- So sorry to hear that your daughter's friend Melanie died. I'm sure your daughter is glad to have you to help her try to understand or at least process this lose. I'm sure that she's glad to have you there for her to lean on.
Again, so sorry for what you and your daughter are going through.
This week has just been unreal. Lexie took the week off from skating. Its going to be hard to get back to focusing on skating. And probably hard for her to get back to focusing on school work as well. The school has been really great letting the kids do things for remembering Melanie. And having counselors on hand. I imagine school will be beginning to return to normal soon though. I've been crying a lot. Its hard not to. It was a closed casket and they had lots of pictures of Melanie around. They had a big picture of her on her horse. It adds to being able to picture a horrible, violent death in my head. I can't really shake the image. I think I'll be glad to get my mind on something else.. anything else.
Rene-
Sorry to hear about your daughters friend. It always hurts when anyone leaves us, but moreso when one is so young. Now that times passed a little, hopefully things are looking a little better?
Mike
Yeah life is starting to get back to normal. There's been so much going on lately. I've been meaning to post a happier topic post but haven't gotten around to it.
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