I'm okay

Friday when I was going to pick my daughter up from afterschool I was running late. And rushing. Running even. And I slipped and fell down the stairs onto concrete and slid. Ouch. I scrapped all the skin off the palms of both my hands. Quite a bit of the skin off the back and fingers of my left hand. And I'M LEFT HANDED> nice right. And my poor face is reminiscent of when I hit my head on the bottom of the pool. My brother had to come pick me up from school. My wonderful big brother said "You're not really going back to school tomorrow looking like that. I would drop out. Maybe Mama and Daddy will let you change schools." Way to be supportive right. That's how I feel now. Like I got "STUPID" tattooed on my forehead. I spent most of yesterday laying in bed. I knew I couldn't skate. I couldn't even move my hands enough to put my skates on. And how could I possibly dance with somebody if I can't even hold their hands. So I drove Lexie to the rink, made her put on her own skates. And I sat & watched. After practice when we walked back out into the rink a little girl started staring at me. I said "I fell down." Sometimes you really shouldn't run. She said her brother let her write in his journal. And I felt better.
Tomorrow I have to go to work looking like this. I was a lot braver in high school. But I'm okay. And I get to say my face broke my fall.. cause that's got to be the coolest quote ever.

Doesn't he look just like me?

I've been getting a lot of awe he looks just like you when I show people my boy's pictures. My sister was supposed to be looking for a baby picture of me. I'm about 1 1/2 to 2 in this picture so not really a 'baby' in the sense that my brother and Nolan are in theirs. But you can see how much we all look alike. Check it out he does look just like me when I was baby doesn't he.
Nolan's Pics


And Me...

And my brother....


So what you think.. who does Nono look like?

Nutcracker 2008

The parts came out this week my daughter's solo is Chinese Dancer this year. She is also in the holiday dance. I should get to dance with my daughter. I always thought she'd be older and bigger by the time that time came. I'm worried about trying to dance with someone so much smaller than me. We skated together yesterday practicing some on our own and she was a little frightened when I spun her around. I should've explained ALL the steps first before we did it. She is also in the Waltz of the Flowers. Seems like she has quite a big role this year - and its going to be a lot of work. We're foregoing the competition next month in anticipation of Nutcracker. She is all signed up to take her MIF test though. I'm ready for that to be over with and done. I've been half*ssed trying to lose weight all year in anticipation. Seeing the list of parts makes it feel a little more real. I have to get my act together now. Only 8 weeks until showtime.

I promise to post pictures as well video of me skating this year.

Yardsale

We had a yard sale on Saturday at my apartment complex. Having moved from a pretty good size house to a tiny apartment I have way more stuff than room. So I was excited about having a yard sale and hoping to get my apartment uncluttered. It was about 60 degrees and windy on Saturday. I was up early to get set up and spent almost all day Saturday out in the cold and only sold 4 things. It was pitiful. My daughter made a friend in our complex and her, her dad, and sister sat up their stuff right next to us. So the kids got to play together so that was good for her. But I was pretty bored all day - and did I mention cold. On a side note, at one point her friend left to watch "The Suite Life" and my daughter started in on the whole but Julia gets to go to her apartment by herself. After I said "Julia is older than you wait no she's not she's just bigger" I had to explain that sometimes I don't agree with the choices other parents make about what they let their kids do. I can't control what they do but she's not wandering around the complex by herself.

At any rate, I got this junk email from a friend/co-worker today (you know the kind that people send to everybody). Her new neighbors that just moved in yesterday moved in because their old house burned down. And they were in need of baby stuff (stroller, crib, toys etc). My niece CJ got my daughter's crib when she was born. But I was otherwise able to give some stuff to help some people in real need. I guess the whole yard sale thing worked out the way it was meant to in the end.

Some people are so lucky:-)

You've probably heard me say that it'd be cheaper to build a fake ice rink in my backyard with all the money we spend on going to the rink. It really would.

I got this email earlier today from my online friend Karean who lives on the other side of the country. She gave me the go-ahead to post her pictures to my blog. SHE finally did what I've been saying forever that I'm going to do SOMEDAY. I told Karean that I want one for Christmas. Which is just not even possible because I now live in an apartment complex and I don't have a backyard to put a rink anymore:( For the time being I love my apartment and don't plan to move anytime soon. But when I have a yard the first thing I'm getting is a big fake sheet of ice. And I'll teach my grandkids how to skate on it. Karean thought that was funny. My daughter tells me she doesn't intend to have children so I might just get my backyard rink before I get grandkids. I'll just teach my brother's grandkids how to skate on it. I act like his kids are mine anyway.


What I really need is to meet someone in Durham who is just like Karean - beautiful, smart, friendly - with an ice rink in her backyard. Then Lexie and I can come over everyday and make her sick, bored and tired of us skating on her fake ice all the time. How cool would that be.
:)

Nutcracker

I found out last week that Nutcracker rehearsals will start November 1st. I couldn't be more excited. My daughter did Nutcracker in 2003, 2004, 2005, and 2006. I did Nutcracker in 2005 & 2006. So this will be my 3rd and her 5th Nutcracker on Ice. It is always so much fun. It is my favorite part of figure skating. I always get stressed out around competition time. But Nutcracker has this whole other 'feel' to it. I hate everything about competitions frilly lacy dresses with sequins and glitter. I could go on and on about how much I hate glitter. Which I was doing just last week to some poor person at work as I was prying glitter out my pores like it was poison on my face. But I suck all that up and spray boatloads of glitter into my daughter's hair and twist crystal twirlies into her head. And somehow despite my aversion to those things she manages to look like a figure skater when she skates onto the ice.
I wanted to quote "Go Figure" but I can't find the movie and I can't google the quote I want. Or least I'm not googling it right. So here is a paraphrased version.

"So tell me Caitlin what is it you love about figure skating" - Coach Natasha Golberman
"Oh that's easy the glitter"
"And well when my feet hit the ice I feel like... no one can judge me, except the judges of course." - Caitlin Kingsford

The first time I saw the movie I laughed at that quote. Its ALL about the glitter. I think our daughters would be just as happy if we bought out the glitter counter at Claires and we wouldn't even have to spend so much money on skating lessons and ice time. I like the other part of figure skating, the part without the glitter. The part that I get to share with my daughter once a year when Nutcracker rolls around.

Sharing some pictures

So we're all settled in the new place. And these pictures are from a couple of months ago - but I just got around to getting developed. This is my first picture of me with the baby. He is getting so big. I look like a drowned rat because we spent the day at the lake. But I'm sharing anyway because it is the first picture of me holding Nono. (This is at my brother's house not my apartment)

There's a picture of my living room and the kitchen in the background. The one of Lexie with my nephews. Its actually the best picture of my apartment with the furniture in it. The boys helped me move. They're awesome like that.

And also a picture of the pool. Which we haven't really got to enjoy because of hurricane season. And we had a few days of colder weather (highs only in the 60s or 70s) so I guess it is closed for winter now eventhough its going to be back in the 80s this week.

My Myspace - Kudos to Amy Marie for help hooking me up

I created my myspace page a few months ago but only did it get any traffic at all until a couple of weeks ago when my friend Amy helped me out with a few things. I was like myspace is useless and I got a response like you're not doing something right. And in the last 2 or 3 weeks I've found people I haven't seen in years. Man every last person in my friends on Myspace ROCKS. I have been so blessed over the course of my 31 years to have called some of the most amazing and wonderful people my friends. You know how in High School your friends are so important to you. More than just about than anything else like eating or sleeping or anything?? Do you? My high school friends and I tried so hard to stay in touch during college. And it worked for a few years. I even managed to keep in touch with some of them up until after my daughter was born. And now I'm getting reconnected. WOoo hoo. Oh my god and when I was in college. I was even friends with the world's coolest cheerleader. And he is my friend on myspace now. He used to stand guard outside the dorm so I could sneak out of Ervin. Buddy system... everybody standing at their stations to help me break curfew. Very important people. I was thinking about all kinds of things like that to say about the wonderful people on myspace and how much I love all of them. But I decided maybe that's a little bit personal or embarrassing. I'm sure they have their own stories they could tell of me. And maybe *I* might not find too amusing. I found my roommate from sophomore year on myspace the other day. It was the last year (or portion thereof) that I lived on campus before moving off-campus with my future ex-husband and his friend. She lived across the hall from me Freshman year. We were practically roommates freshman year as well. My first roommate Freshman year said I was arrogant, self-centered and impossible to live with. My second roommate freshman year lived locally but wanted the college experience so she was never there. Carrie and I became friends and picked each other for roommates sophomore year. We had our moments where it was hard to get along too though. I've found that its a lot easier for me to get along with people that i don't have to live with. I think that's my issue though. it is what it is.
Are you on my space yet? if so, check me out at rockstheice I still don't have a lot of 'friends' there yet. Which is part of why I can honestly say they are all awesome people

Tennessee

In the whole no matter how bad things are it could be worse theory... I found out the other day that my uncle was in the hospital. Open heart surgery. My dad had a quadruple bypass a few years ago. I guess its genetic. At least my heart is intact, right?

My mom told me that she and my sisters are planning to go visit him. I really want to go too! Its been so long since I've been to Tennessee. My last trip was Freshman Year of college. Which makes me feel really old:( Its so beautiful there. My cousin took some awesome pictures of me/her/us at my last visit. She's very talented.

I used to love going to Tennessee to visit my aunt, uncle and cousins. Did I mention it is so pretty there this time of year.

I want to go. Maybe I'll be able to swing a trip when Lexie isn't in school.

The Bad Luck Fairy

Every so often I'm walking along happy and the bad-luck fairy decides to whop me up side the head with her wand. At least it could always be worse.

I had a car accident on Friday. Am currently without any mode of transportation except my feet. Luckily I'm in town and can walk places. And walk to work. My weekend building manager bought me coffee for my birthday. Which was really nice of her. Some people are awesome. I found out today that I really could've just walked to Hardees for coffee & its not THAT far. So this weekend if I'm still stranded I can walk to Hardees... Actually I'll just walk to work its closer and the coffee is free. They'll prolly expect me to work anyway. And Lexie is staying at her dad's right now so I don't have to be making her walk everywhere. So it could DEFINITELY be worse.

I didn't even get cake for my birthday. Not that I need it. I started back working out today. Maybe the no cake was a good thing.

But sometimes I feel like the bad luck fairy just HATES me:(

Back Online

Okay so maybe you didn't notice I was offline...

But just in case you did. I am back online. Last week was a rough week. Lexie started at her new school. She misses her friends. I promised a sleepover in the next couple of weeks so she'll feel a little less like all her friends are going to forget her. Man - I am LOVING my new place. And Lexie *knows* she likes the pool. And hey - we even got cable (internet) today. The last few weeks without cable have been rough for me. Even more so for my daughter having to be at a new place, a new school and no friends. But we're adjusting. Well technically she's adjusting. I'm in heaven. And even happier to finally have cable.

So hopefully I'll be back blogging and checking out all your blogs and catching up.

Yeah - I know you didn't know I was missing.....

Random Thoughts

***Amy Marie - your post is below. You're supposed to reply when you read it. Vacation or no vacation:)

Sometimes in life we find ourselves staring up at the heavens screaming "Why" to a god that doesn't answer. All the little things and the big things that just don't go our way seem to add up. And we content ourselves to know that no matter how bad things are they could always be worse. We could be homeless or jobless or we could lose yet another person that we love. Several weeks ago I ran into an old friend that I hadn't seen in about 12 years or so. I found myself answering the question "what would it take to make you happy - do you even know?" Of course, I know. I spilled out my list. And in the last couple of weeks I've watched my list come to pass. I got everything on it. And I'm happier than I think I've ever been in my life. So I was thinking that maybe sometimes God doesn't give us what we ask for but forces us to wait for the better that comes along.

Great Songs to Skate to....

Okay so I was talking to a friend about. Well actually about the Jonas Brothers. Yeah I listen to the JoBros. No, I'm not 8. And of course you can't get the hype if you've never even heard their music. DUH!!!
Here are 2 of my favourites that I think would be awesome showcases to skate to....


What a great movie - if you haven't seen it go rent it or something.


As far as i can tell the Jonas Brothers seem to be really great kids. And children are always going to have idols. People in the spotlight that they look up to. Our kids could do a lot worse than Kevin, Nick and Joe. That's all I'll say...

On another note a few years ago Lexie skated to Cinderella. Which is really ironic because even at that age we talked about her touring in terms of Cinderella. Lexie has dedicated the last 5+ years to figure skating. We'd talk about how when she grows up she could be Cinderella and travel all over the world with DoI. Not every skater can be Cinderella but you don't have to be the star of the show to be a professional skater. Somebody has to be the ugly step-sister or play all the other girls at the ball wanting to try on the glass slipper (skate). Being able to get paid to do something that you love and getting to see the world would be an amazing experience for anyone. How many careers can you tour with. Its something that I've always wanted for her. She has to really want it for herself. Not just say she wants it. At 8, its impossible to map out your whole life of what you want. Most of us don't even know what we want to be even after we are all grown up. Lexie's is all mapped out. She wants to tour (skating - DoI), tour (rock star), go to art school and become a fashion designer. Oh and be a famous actress. Famous enough to star as herself. We call this plan of hers "growing up to be like Richie Rich."
So I hope you like this one too...


***Updated to add this one from NBB***

and a few comments... i don't really think they sing that good. But a lot people obviously do like them for something other than what they look like or their name. So whatever - to each their own. I don't get why people have to slam them and be so vulgar on youtube. They are a band that a lot of little kids like. And I don't like my 8 year old reading that stuff. I think people are jealous because they are having fun and making a lot of money doing it.

Week 2

Well week 1 of camp was a bust. I won't complain about it - just say that I have high hopes that this week will go better. Lexie spent last week with the folks. I was lazy without her around this week. Honestly - didn't do too much missing her either. I enjoyed the alone time. I ran the other day for the first time in a week. I've been so sore I could hardly walk since. We went to see Wall-E last night. It was pretty good but I was expecting it to be better. The theater gave Lexie a Wall-E watch that looks like one of those little rubber arm bands that say stuff on them like PEACE or LOVE. Hers says WALLE on it and has a digital clock embedded in it. And we're about to go skating in a few minutes. Hopefully my leg muscles will work enough for me to be able to skate.

**UPDATE** Not only did my legs manage to skate for an hour and a half today. I ran 3 miles when I got home. Okay well I walked a little of it. But not bad overall. Something is better than nothing - Its the mantra I live by these days just case I haven't told you. I feel really good right now. Keep your fingers crossed that tomorrow goes well.

First Day of Camp!

Well some of you know that aside from the weekends and a couple of days I took off from work Lexie has been away from me most of the summer so far. She has been at my parents. And I've been alone. I've made good use of the time - extra hours in the office getting stuff done. I did some housework at home. And I spent 1.5 - 2 hours working out most every day. I didn't lose any weight but I feel stronger. I was hoping I'd lose a few pounds. NSL. Anyway she is back home now. We've spent this weekend Ice Skating (I worked on my spins, turns and backward crossovers) - Lexie worked on all her single jumps, spins, and pre-pre moves, we went roller skating yesterday and hung out and watched cartoons and movies together.
And tomorrow she is going to camp. I'm having a 'my baby's growing up' moment. She has to be responsible for herself starting tomorrow. By putting on & taking off her own skates, wiping them down good and putting on soakers so they don't rust, and putting on guards before she puts her skates on. We've been practicing this weekend. I keep telling her nobody is going to do it for her at this camp. I'm just a tad bit worried. Hopefully someone will help her for a day or two at least until she adjusts. And at the same time, I hope someone tells her she is old enough to do that stuff for herself now. I don't know what I want. Except for tomorrow to go well so I can stop worrying.

Another video... 2006 Nutcracker on Ice Solo

Well my last post's video was a hard act to follow. But check this one out....


This is the video from our last Nutcracker on Ice. Lexie was the clown doll. She was adorable. I bought the doll dress. Lexie didn't particularly like what they had in wardrobe. And when I saw this dress - I knew she had to wear it. Everyone said it was the best clown doll dress they had ever seen. Hopefully whoever plays the clown doll this year will be able to fit it. I painted her face, the same way I had painted her face when she was a clown for Halloween in 2001. With hearts on her cheeks and blue tear drops down her cheeks. Did I say she was adorable yet? Anyway check out my old videos. Still no videos of my skating. But I promise to share videos of my skating if the show goes on this year.

I Got My DVD!!!!! 2008 State Games

Pre-Pre Test Track Freestyle event Champion!!!!

I want my DVD

It has been almost 3 whole weeks and still no dvd from State Games. I keep checking my mailbox everyday.. nada. It is all I can do to not send email to complain. I know the order form said allow 2-4 weeks for delivery. I just didn't think it was really going to take four weeks to get here:( Remind me not to order anything again that needs a month delivery time.
Argh.

While I wait for my dvd I'm going to be sharing some thoughts about some skating related movies. When I started this blog I mentioned something about reviewing some movies and telling what I think. I think I'll start with Blades of Glory. What a funny movie. Quite vulgar though. I wouldn't (if I were you) let my pre-teen watch it. But I'm not -you that is- and I already did. I had no idea. She watched it with me the first time I saw it. As we tend to watch movies together unless they are scary movies - then I wait until she is in bed. Anywho nobody reviewed it first and told me it was inappropriate for children. I've been seeing a lot of Blades of Glory popping up lately. Pictures from the movie made their way onto the calendars at our rink. The movie was shown at the skating camp an online friend's children are attending.
You ever notice how in skating movies nobody ever does anything in their programs (just fluff)? Like for instance Chazz Michael Michaels did 2 jumps in his program one of which was a split jump which my daughter's coach tells me doesn't even rate any points under IJS. And he did 3 spins. Everything else was just skating around doing nothing. I don't know about you (or your kids) but my daughters' programs are and have always been packed full of stuff. Her last years program had 2 solo jumps and 3 jump combinations. Seriously. Also what about the short/long programs in this movie. Hello everybody at the senior level has to skate 2 events. And dance has to skate 3 events. And we all know thanks to Johnny Weir that you can't tie in figure skating at the senior level. And even if you did tie (like in lower levels of figure skating) if there were 2 first places the next place would be third. And senior mens doesn't allow vocals in music. Vocal music is only allowed in dance. Unless it is a showcase. Which was more what Jimmy & Chazz did. But that wouldn't get you a gold medal at the Olympics. Okay - yeah I have fun picking out the mistakes in movies. There are a lot in this one.
Just don't expect it to be remotely accurate to figure skating. Take it for what its worth as just a funny movie. And don't let your kids watch it. Lest they embarrass you doing the Chazz Michael Michaels dance in public.

I drew a pattern

Now to get back to something skating related. Last week I drew a pattern. I actually watched Lexie skate something and sketched it out on a piece of paper. Waltz eights has been one of those things that she hasn't worked on a whole lot. She skated it to pass Freeskate 3 a little over a year ago. And she skated it some during a few times where we had planned to have her test Pre-Pre moves finally. At this point she is planning to take the test in August. She was going to take the test in May but I had to cut back the lessons due to some unexpected financial issues. At any rate, lest anyone think shouldn't she have already learned a waltz eight. And shouldn't I actually have a real diagram somewhere for reference? Without me having to try and draw something myself? I swear patterns make absolutely no sense to me. I think I kind of have the idea behind some dance patterns like dutch waltz and cha cha but only because I've seen them skated enough that I can begin to relate to a bunch of lines on a piece of paper. But I certainly don't think I could look at a bunch of lines on a piece of paper and transfer that to ice. So for me to see something skated on the ice and think I could translate it to paper from my head is huge. I was very proud of myself - even if it wasn't a whole bunch of complicated lines.
So here is my attempt....

And guess what Lexie was correct - I did not get it exactly right. And then I found an actual diagram online.

Oh well, I'm still proud. A pattern almost made since to me. I think I'll stick to knowing my jumps and spins and let the coaches handle helping her learn the patterns. **sigh**

Baby pictures...

The reason why I hadn't gotten around to sharing any baby pictures is because I wanted to give Lexie's winning State Games and the big hair cut some time to be center stage on the blog. But in honor of my other baby graduating high school this weekend I thought I'd share this one...And give some kudos to Matt. Of all my nieces and nephews I've always been closest to Matt. He is my favourite brother's oldest child after all. My brother and I were always close as kids and even after he moved out we still remained so. When Matt was born it was liking having my own baby. I babysat him every single weekend from when he was born until I went away to college. My brother and I used to negotiate days for whose turn it was to watch him on Friday or Saturday night and alternate which nights we got to out on dates. If I babysat on Saturday night for my brother and sil to go out then they watched him on Friday for me. For five years it was like the child had 3 parents. Of all my nieces and nephews I think he is the most like me. Maybe it is because we have the same Chinese zodiac if you believe in things like that. While not all the snake attributes apply (I'm certainly not rich or lucky with money) I do find that most fit me pretty well.

It really is a great feeling to have a little kid look up to and admire you:) Here's a secret that Matt doesn't know. When I graduated from high school I got a certificate for perfect attendance in High School. My brother and sister-in-law told him when he started kindergarten that if he had perfect attendance all through school that when he graduated he would get a certificate like the one that Aunt Renee got. (Note I got mine for high school 10-12th grades). Matt had perfect attendance from Kindergarten through twelfth grade. That's a LOT of days of school. And he isn't getting his certificate now because they said he missed a day in first grade:( I don't guess there is anyway to prove that he didn't... unless my brother and sil had kept all his report cards. Which I'm pretty sure they didn't. He was always so proud of his perfect attendance and never missed a day even if he was sick. I never had the heart to tell him that my certificate was only for high school. Anyway, great big kudos for perfect attendance and graduation.


****UPDATE 06/14/08*****
Matt got his plaque for K-12 perfect attendance today. It just took my brother having a little talk with the superintendent. As you can imagine we were all so proud of him.

And now for some more baby pictures....

The Hair Cut

So Lexie and I have been talking about this day for a long time. Probably the seed was planted when I cut my hair for Locks of Love. I absolutely despise long hair. Letting my hair grow out 10 whole inches was about one of the hardest things I've done. But because I did I was able to give my hair to someone who didn't have any. That was a while ago and we've been talking about what I did and why. My niece gave Locks of Love shortly after I did. And then Oprah did a show on Beautiful Lengths a few months ago. Lexie and I talked about the differences. For those of you who don't know Locks of Love gives hair to children who don't have any because of a disease that they have such as alopecia. Beautiful Lengths supports real hair wigs given by American Cancer Society to women with Cancer. And both are wonderful causes to support with your gift. Locks of Love now requires a minimum of 10 inches. Beautiful Lengths accepts donations of 8 or more inches. There are various other differences in their policies for hair acceptance. Lexie's hair was a little layered. And while it reached 10 inches tip to tip at the longest area most of her hair was probably only 8 inches and not usable by Locks of Love.

She probably would've had to cut her hair another 2 inches shorter to give a workable donation to Locks of Love. As Lexie's hair has gotten longer and longer it had become more difficult to manage. We were both getting frustrated with the tangles and combing it several times a day to manage all the knots. So we decided that we would set a date of cutting it after State Games. And it was every bit as hard to wait to cut Lexie's hair as it was for me waiting to cut mine.

I never pressured her into this decision. It was a choice she made on her own. She is so proud. As should all the children, the women and the men who give their gifts of hair to either of these wonderful causes.

See posts below for some pictures of the competition.. and I'll be posting video in the next few weeks.

State Games 2008

Wow. Today was a really short day - considering I had to spend 3 hours of it driving. We got to Greensboro around 2pm today. Lexie skated at 4pm. They did the awards at the 5pm ice cut. And we left shortly after that. We stopped and got dinner on the way home. And got home at 8pm. The couple who run the Tae Kwon Do studio that Lexie goes to afterschool at came to watch her skate. They also bought her a necklace with an ice skater on it. Which I thought was really nice. I bought a disposable camera (since my digital camera is unreliable) to take pictures at the competition. But it will probably be a while before I get them developed. I will post pictures then. And I also ordered the dvd. Generally, I think the dvds are way to expensive to buy but since she did such an amazing job. I just had to. She is my one-and-only the love of my life. Her coach said that she straight out rocked today. You know that's what I say - notice the name of my blog:) A lot of other spectators - people we didn't even know came up to say how great she did and congratulate her.
Are you wondering yet what place she got? 1st place (4/1). Woo hoo. The other skaters really skated well too. They were much older. I wish I could share my pictures now.
Only a few bummers from the trip. It poured down raining and hailing for nearly an hour of the drive back. I had to drive really slow. At times it felt we were never going to get home. And when we got back in the car from eating dinner rain got on one of her comic books I just bought her. Which I told her to leave at home anyway. And I got mad at her for messing up a pig-tail about 5 minutes before her warm-up. So I was really lucky that she skated well since I upset her really good right before she had to take the ice. Otherwise it was a great day. And I'm going to go curl up with my daughter now and watch Underdog neither of us have seen it yet.

Photos added...

Five Days to State Games....

The week prior to a competition is the most exhausting times of my life. I get so tired watching my daughter and the emotions that she goes through leading up to a competition. I will be so glad when this week is over. I got a call last night from my daughter's coach moving her lesson from 8am to 11am this morning. Then after I let her stay up til nearly 9pm because hey she didn't have to get up at 7am - I got another call saying that hockey has the ice at that time so we had to move her lesson to 7am which meant getting up at 6am on a holiday. Any other week and I'd have said lets just skip the lesson this time. But knowing she needed the practice we drug ourselves out of bed at 6am this morning and we were at the rink at 7am sharp. It could've been worse it could've been a school day and we could've been there at 6am. The program looked almost well enough this morning that I should be worried. You know it is bad luck for her to skate well right before a competition. She is still having some issues with the camel and fell on lutz so not a perfect day. And we got into an argument after her lesson because when she is ready to go home she purposefully skates as bad as she can so that I'll say lets go its better to stop than keep practicing poor habits. God give me the strength to get me through this week. And to not make her quit because of the stress that it puts on me. The afternoon practice ice sessions on Saturday went really quickly so she won't be able to skate on their ice beforehand. Which is also bad luck because where the zam end is changes from rink to rink and it can sometimes throw off her skating. Or any skater's skating for that matter. It also gives even more pressure to get as much practice as possible in this week.
We're not doing any competitions for a while after this week is over. She can finally get that split jump of hers looking like an actual split jump. And get ready to pass MIF. I hate MIF and watching lesson after lesson of moves. But I'll be so glad this competition is over I don't think I'll mind it.. for a few weeks anyway. Well if I don't go completely crazy in the next five days I'll let you know on Sunday how the competition Saturday goes. And if I still have it remotely together on Sunday my friend Kate invited Lexie and I over to go swimming. That should be fun. We could both use some down time.

....Family

I spent the day with my brother and his family on Sunday. He's getting ready to rent his old house and I offered some help. His family got a little too big for it and they bought another house many years ago. It's been a while since I had been in it the previous tenants had lived there for years. There were marks on the inside of the closet of the boys at different heights and their ages. I remember when my mom used to mark our heights on the wall. It gave me some quality time with them. I helped my brother and Matt & Bryan with the house. Afterwards, watched "One Missed Call" with everyone and got to hold baby all through the movie which was nice. Its almost like holding a baby Bryan but no 18 month old Matt on the other shoulder:( Bryan's girlfriend came over so the house started to get full and noisy. It was kind of hard to follow. My brother said it must not be very good because he tried to watch it ten times and couldn't get into it. I got to drive Matt's new car (well new to him). Red used to be my favourite color when I was a kid. Its in the top 3 now. If you don't count different shades of green as more than one. Otherwise it'd be teal, sea green, emerald, lavender, then red. Its funny how our preference change like that. I think red was my favourite color as a kid because my brother said it was his and it just stuck. I still would've loved that car as kid. Did I tell you Matt was most like me of my nephews and nieces? He is.
Okay time for the trip down memory lane....
My brother and I did some reminiscing about growing up which we tend to do a lot of these days when we're together. Lexie likes to tell me how she wishes that we weren't poor whenever I tell her I can't afford to buy her something. The economy is hitting most people hard - that doesn't make us poor. I tell her that she doesn't know what poor is. We used to pick our own food out of the garden and eat the same thing everyday for a month because it was whatever was 'in season.' I think sometimes Lex doesn't appreciate how good she has it. She has a tv in her own room with cable. I would've loved THAT as a kid. Other people had cable. They were rich; WE were poor. My brother and I did have a tv in our room it didn't get any channels we could only play atari on it. And being 10 years younger I always got beat. At everything. Atari, cards, checkers, arm wrestling... it sucks being little. And when my brother let me win stuff it was so obvious he was letting me win it wasn't even fun. It also sucks sharing a two-bedroom house and one bathroom with four other people & only one television (that only got 3 channels and 2 of those not very clear) . But I think it made me appreciate things more. Sharing a small house with them made me closer to the two people I loved most. These days I wouldn't have wanted it any other way.
The tiny house with five people.... (approximately 1982.. lest you think it was longer ago than that because of the truck)

May Day Vs Field Day

Today was Field Day at Lexie's school. We didn't have Field Day when I was a kid - we had May Day. And apparently that is different. I always thought they were the same thing - they just changed what they called it??? I don't know.
So this morning I'm driving her into school. At the rink at 6am. At the store getting snacks for Field Day - and I have to have her at before school by 7:45 and me at work at 8:30... I was incredibly pressed for time. So during all that driving we're chatting away discussing which is better Field Day or May Day.
So as Lexie says "In the last century when you were in school" - as if the 80's were 100 years ago we had May Day. May Day starting with walking around a May Pole wrapping ribbons around it. And consisted of fun events we could sign up for - like 100 yard dash, broad jump, potato sack races, and hula hoop contests. And we got ribbons for the places that we got.
And Field Day they play outside, throw water balloons, and have centers. I said that doesn't sound like much fun. Lexie said May Day doesn't sound like much fun. It sounds like P.E. Nobody this century would think that is fun. I'm glad we have Field Day now instead of May Day. I told her I don't think I'd like her Field Day. Even as a kid I don't think I would've liked being hit by a water balloon - SO NOT my idea of fun. And this is how I tie this into skating. I asked her how she likes it when she does a skating competition and doesn't get a medal. I was equating that to not getting a ribbon at May Day. Lexie said, "I think you should just be happy you got to do the event and have fun doing it and not worry about having something to show for it." What a great answer. But I also know how much she cried and was so very upset those few times she didn't get a medal at a skating competition. Its not much fun.
So weigh in - what do you think? Field Day vs May Day? Is it a this century vs last century *cough cough*? Or is it where you live? What'd you do as a kid? Which do you think you'd like better?

On another note, Lexie got her yearbook yesterday. Melanie was pictured along with her classmates. And a beautiful "In memory of..." at the end of the yearbook. With this year drawing to a close its hard to not think of Melanie. Missing her Field Day today. Not going to third grade. And hard to not think of what those kids went through losing her. Next year, those kids will be in different classes some will probably be at different schools. The world moves on. Everything changes. Nothing lasts forever.

Spending some time with the family

I had a really great time spending the day with my family yesterday. I went to one of my cousin's weddings. My favorite cousin Jessie was matron-of-honor. We were really close when we were little kids up through high school but now mostly communicate through email. It was nice getting to see her. She looked absolutely gorgeous as matron-of-honor. After the wedding we headed over to my brother's house. They didn't go to the wedding. My sil, well she just had a baby so didn't exactly feel up to it. And I don't think my brother's too big on going to stuff like that without her. My brother cooked dinner for us. And the best part (well second best part) my brother sang three songs to me (us) and played his guitar. The thing I miss most not living with my brother anymore (its been 22 years) is being an audience to his singing on a daily basis. Now of course the best part was getting to hold my little nephew. I kind of hogged holding him most of the time I was there. Some of my brother's friends stopped by to see the baby and he took him from me to show him off. But I got him back. I forgot how heavy babies are. Its weird how you can workout and curl dumbbells that weigh three or four times a baby's weight yet they try the muscles when you're holding one for a couple of hours. Sorry I have no pictures. My flaky camera is currently not working. And my brother has one of those old-fashioned cameras that use film. Lexie spent most of the evening playing with her cousin Kellie. Hopefully my next visit I'll get some photos to share.

Guess what? I'm an Aunt!!!! Again.

My sil gave birth to my nephew today. 7 pounds and something. I'm hoping to get some pictures up this weekend. I really can't go see him before then. I have to work and my daughter has school. And my car is still in the shop. I'm driving my mom's old car and it gets around but I'm not driving it anymore than I absolutely have to.
Anyway about my nephew, my sil was intending to name him Ronald Ethan. Most people in my family go by their middle names and another large percent go by initials so they weren't intending to call the baby Ronald but I still don't like it. My sil's dad died several years ago. His name was Ronald Bryan Matthews. Watch someone google him and tell my sil how much I hate her kids names. I don't. I just don't like Ronald. And Matt's first name is Joseph (after my dad) and Matt is short for Matthews. Bryan actually goes by his first name. So why does boy #3 have to be named after him too? So today while my wonderful and beautiful sister-in-law was busy giving birth. I was busy complaining about this horrible Hancock she was planning to stick on my poor nephew. My co-worker asked me what I like. If it was up to me to name him. I said my daughter's friend that died's brother's name is Lucas Carter which I really like a lot. I wouldn't mind a nephew named Carter. You know if it was up to me. I like Carter. I like "Lucas Carter" together. And then she asked me how Melanie died. There was somebody I missed telling. The words 'my daughter's friend that died' poured out my mouth without my being upset by the tragedy. And funny I can type this recollection without bursting into tears. But the sudden image that popped into my head of this tiny little girl with long blond hair being pulled and drug to death underneath a horse brought me to tears.

My nephew is "Nolan Spencer" I like it. I do. Much better than Ronald.

Working Out

Still no baby to report on. And its about 6 weeks until state games. Lex will be doing the same program she did for the Classic for state games. She's only competing in Freestyle for this next competition. So I figured I'd do a post on my goals. You may or may not know that our rink is being overhauled (you can see fiberglass in my latest video). We are hoping they'll have the rink renovations done soon (summer or fall). So there should be a Nutcracker on Ice this year. 2007's Nutcracker on Ice was canceled because of the renovations. And Lexie's skated in every Nutcracker on Ice since she started skating in 2003. And I've skated in every one since 2005 (the year of Lexie's first solo). Anywho, I am really excited about the rink opening back up and getting to perform Nutcracker on Ice this year. Some people think Nutcracker on Ice may be a thing of the past because the seating won't be big enough after the renovations. I really hope not. On my agenda is to get back into taking skating lessons again this summer. Maybe I can learn to skate dutch waltz and cha cha over summer. But for the time being I've been getting in shape. Over the last month or two I've been running several times a week. I ran 25 minutes today... walked 10 minutes... and jumped rope 5. And two weeks ago I started lifting weights again. I had quit lifting because I wasn't doing it consistent enough to progress any and decided to spend my time running instead. For two whole weeks I've been making the time for both running and lifting weights. I get to feel every little fiber of muscle ache. In another month or so I should be able to stand some skating lessons without getting so tired I want to quit. Its a lot more tiring when you are working on something than just skating laps around the rink. Maybe by then I'll have had some time to recover from my recent financial setbacks.

Waiting to be an aunt.....

I've been hit repeatedly over the head with the bad-luck wand the past couple of weeks. Since I hate seeing myself as a whiner I'll spare you all the details. And focus on some good news - because any day now I'm going to be an aunt. While I flail around a lot at the whole parenting thing and have absolutely no idea what I'm doing most of the time I've always thought I was a really great aunt. I have had a lot more practice. So in my toast my becoming an aunt again any day now here's an old photo of a young, loving "Aunt Renne" with my other brother's son Curtis. See I told you I had a lot of practice... and you thought I'd only been doing the aunt thing for nineteen years.



Also... when I was looking through some old photos I found a couple of my daughter teaching my now 19-year-old nephew Matt how to skate a few years ago. This is how to do backwards swizzles. I thought it was adorable - though the quality of the photos weren't so good.

Classic 2008

The video is a little small so it might be hard to see. She skated extremely well. She landed all her jumps and did well on the spins. I'm linking through youtube so hopefully you can click on it and make it bigger and see the lutz and camel at the end. It really was a great program I wish I could've zoomed in a little more.

Classic Time - A look back at Classic 2007

In anticipation for this weekend's competition I am posting Lexie's video from the same competition one year ago. This was her last time skating Freeskate 3 before moving up from the Basic Skills competitive levels to No Test A/Tots. This last year she really got stuck in some ruts and only learned for single jumps - loop (which she subsequently lost and had to relearn since then), flip and lutz. For spins she only learned the spin combo camel/sitspin (which is still not very good), stork spin and started work on that broken leg sitspin. This season she is a lot faster, stronger and more confident with her skating.
What I don't like about the Basic Skills competitive levels can be seen in this video. The crossovers in a figure 8 at the 36-second mark along with the subsequent swing rolls look like they just don't belong here in this program. Completely forced. And slowing her down when she is already moving so slow and deliberately. A fourth place finish one year ago. This year will be better than the last.

ugghhh

I was thinking about titling this 'week from hell.' If you've talked to me in the past few days you've probably had the misfortune of listening to me whine about how bad my life sucks. If you haven't consider yourself having been spared the details. Four days stuck at home without a car can do that to a person. Paying $1000 to get a car a fixed.. to get it not fixed.. and its still in the shop and I'm in a rental. At least I have something to drive. Today. But I get to worry about how much more it is going to cost me. And how much this financial set back is going to hit my daughter's skating. With the competition this weekend, and pre-pre moves testing and State Games in May. Skating is not due to slow down until summer. And I'm looking at being broke for the foreseeable future. Man, I am one whiny person. It would suck to be friends with me and have to listen to me whine all the time. I'm working on that. I really am.

Sitting at home since Tuesday, I had an epiphany about how I need to start treating other people the way I'd like to be treated. I'm not mean to people. But I don't exactly jump and down to do favors for people either. If someone wanted a ride somewhere I'd figure somebody else will help them out. Which is probably the wrong attitude to have.

Due to circumstances beyond my control Lex had four days off the ice. She had a fair lesson this morning still occasionally falling on the lutz and a few putting her hand down. After watching worlds fairly closely I think she should get credit for the lutz and no deduction for a hand down. It won't be pretty if I manage to get a video.. but I think it'll count the same as if it were pretty. And she's not wanting to practice on public sessions at all anymore. The fall-out she had last summer over Kate & Alex left her without friends to skate with. Skating with me isn't the same. And the older (or further advanced in skating) she gets the less patience she has for other people on the ice. Maybe skating on empty or nearly empty ice before God wakes up has spoiled her. I don't know. Maybe she gets the whining from me. I don't suppose I can expect her to get better until I do?

A few tidbits.....

The switchover this morning could not have gone more smoothly. I was worried for nothing. She had amazing sitspins, decent camels, great loops & flips. A couple hands down and a fall on a few run-throughs with the lutz. But perfect right before a competition is dangerous. I covered that in the previous post. We'll see how the next couple of weeks pan out.

So how about those worlds? I started pulling for Canada. I've always like Joannie Rochette and Jeffrey Buttle. And when it looked like the USA was not getting a single medal. I was pulling for Canada. I'm not a fair weather fan. I still love Tanith & Ben and Kimmie Miesner and Ashley Wagner. And Johnny Weir. Congrats to Johnny Weir for the bronze medal. It just wasn't our (USA) year.

Prior to watching Worlds on Sunday... I was tuned into some March Madness. Did you see that game? Holy Sniikes.. (I was going to say salchow but it doesn't quite fit with the basketball). I almost missed it. I was flipping back from ESPN to CBS waiting for Worlds to start. And caught most of the second half of the Davidson - Georgetown game. Even if you don't like either of these two teams you have to admit that was an awesome game. Davidson was in my alma mater's Swim Conference - the Southern States Athletic Conference - and we held our Conference championships at guess where? Davidson. We swam against Georgetown too. I was pulling for my conference-mates. They won!! And I almost missed it. They said it was the first NCAA game Davidson had won since the 1960s. I hope you got to see some history being made yesterday - and not just UNC being whoever it was they beat by like 50 points or whatever. I was watching Worlds then.

It's a Girl!

The baby arrived this morning. And we officially make the switch over Monday morning at 6:20am. I'm looking forward to 20 minute lessons. I think shorter lessons, more often and more practice will have to be the way Lexes' skating goes as she gets older. After the past couple of days the possibility of her pulling off all five jumps and both spins without falling seems practically impossible. You know its bad luck for her to skate well right before a competition.. with less than 2 weeks to go... we're getting into that bad luck zone. Generally, if my daughter can pull off her program effortlessly she will get into her head it is easy and she doesn't have to try. Then she will completely blow the competition. If she skates poorly she will work harder prior to the competition and pull it off on competition day. After 4 1/2 years of competitive skating - I know how she works. Still - oh God how I would like to see this program done well before competition day. I really would. Probably not going to happen. And at this point seeing it come together in the next week would be seriously bad luck. She needs to fight to stick all six landings (somebody can tell me if that counts as four landings and not six). Also not fall coming out her spins either. It will come together... it will. I have the job over the next two weeks of making her believe that she can do it. She can.. of course she can. Can she do it all at the same time? Yes. In the next 2 weeks. We'll see. And if she doesn't we just put it behind us & start working towards state games.

Happy Birthday

We had my daughter's 8th birthday party today. She's so tiny so I have a little trouble thinking of her as growing up. That's my mom in the background. She's 5'2" Lex got her short genes. The party was at a local roller skating/ arcade/bowling alley/movie theatre place. She did roller skating and arcade for her birthday. My camera decided to stop working just as she went roller skating so I got no pictures of that. Also, I'm only posting the one picture here because I don't feel right posting pictures of other people's children on my blog. Isn't she adorable with the Hannah Montana cake -- and her eight candles? She had a sleepover last night which went amazingly well. Apparently if you don't have six kids at one time it isn't so bad. Go figure.
My other baby (I only have one biological kid so I mean my brother's oldest son Matt) is turning 19 tomorrow. One day they're little babies in your arms, the next they're running little cars up your legs like your knees are mountains and the next they are all grown up.
Where do the years go so fast? Lexie told me yesterday that I was the best mom in the whole world. Why I ask? Because I have to work harder than any other mom. I laugh. She wants to know why that is funny. Before I know it Lex will be 19 too... apparently it only gets harder.

Broken Leg Sitspin

Here is a video I shot today of the broken leg sitspin. The spin itself is okay but she messed up on the entrance and the exit. I guess she has time to clean it up so it looks nice for competition. Its still a fairly new spin for her. And I'm sure she'll have 3 revs in the broken-leg position in no time at all.

The new Freestyle Pre-Pre Test Program

For about six months now I've waited for the Pre-Pre Test Freestyle event to arrive. I had a lot of high hopes for this event and the announcements for the first two competitions of the season came out with the event not being offered.. Finally, the first big competition of the season's announcement came out. There was a sentence left out in the Pre-Pre Test event which changed what could be allowed for her to do. Basically rendering this event an even lower level than the one that she competed in last season. So it didn't look like her competing in this event was going to happen. My daughter's coach - who I absolutely adore by the way - took me around to talk to several different judges about the wording and what it would mean for my daughter (if she decided to compete in this event). All these judges told me that I wrong. That the wording clearly said that only moves that are on the test are allowed in the event in competition. Which is contradictory to other parts of the description seeing as how it also says at least 2 solo spins of a different nature are needed and there is only one spin on the Pre-Pre Test. So again if she couldn't do the singles (loop, flip and a lutz) and the spins (broken leg sitspin and camel) then I didn't want her doing the event. So after being told that I was wrong by SO MANY people and I just didn't want to argue with anybody anymore or be labeled a trouble-maker. And just when I had completely given up hope of her even being able to compete in a freestyle event this year - an amendment came out to the announcement. And guess who was right all along. I won an argument I had stopped arguing. I have to say that kind of caught me off guard. I had given up. I'm really excited about this event. And this program. For the first time in a really long time I feel like its a program that she can do well with. I also want on my wish list for this program a catch-foot or victory spiral. I know parents and spectators like these - judges do not. But shouldn't some of this damn sport be about pleasing parents??? And some twizzles would be nice. I may not get twizzles. I'm holding out for the broken leg sitspin (that's still not consistently good). The deadline for the competition has arrived (today) and she's all signed up for her events. So we're really going to do this thing. My biggest fear at this point is that my daughter's coach is going to give birth before we get this program pieced together and we switch coaches mid-choreography. I got high hopes for this program - ya know? I've been waiting almost six months for this event to arrive.

Remebering Melanie....

This post is off-topic from skating. This blog is also about my little girl. And well this post is about the loss she is going through right now. We just got back from the funeral home an hour or so ago for my daughter's friend and classmate, Melanie. We ate dinner and I got my little girl settled into bed. There have been just a few times in my life where I've actually been afraid for my life and well-being. When I was pregnant with my daughter I was thrown from a neighbor's horse. He had teased me about being scared and pretty much forced me into riding this horse he had just bought. I knew better. But I couldn't stand his teasing. While I was being bucked I remember thinking this is not how I want to die at 23 years old. I haven't ridden since. Occasionally people like to tell me about the proverbial horse. Well let me tell ya - proverbial horses can't kill ya but real ones can. I know that accidents happen and we can't live our lives being afraid. After all, living is the only worth dying for. There are some fates worse than death like actually having to live through being bucked, thrown, stomped and drug to death (or nearly to death). My God, what that poor little girl must have went through waiting to die.
Friday night my daughter sat down and wrote out her list of people to invite to her birthday party. She wrote Melanie's name at the top of her list. When I told her that Melanie had died she said now Melanie won't be able to come my birthday party. A few more thoughts from my daughter.. Melanie won't be able to turn eight. Melanie won't get to be what she wanted to be when she grows up. She said Thank you Mom for taking care of me and not letting me die. I told her that Melanie's parents didn't let her die. She's been really sad and clingy the past 2 days. I slept with her Sunday night - something I rarely do. I know she's scared now that she could die too. We all think we are too young to die.
Hug your babies whether they are one years old or seven or twenty or fifty. You are never too young to die. Tell all the people that you love "I love you" and listen when they say it. When I tell my brother I love you he says "I love you too but I'm not going to die; you're not going to die."

Random Thoughts about Nationals

Now about Nationals. I can't believe I waited a week to say anything. The shock of it all has had time to wear off. I know I'm not the only one who feels bad for Johnny Weir. I've gotten email about it. I know not everybody loves Johnny Weir but I think this sport really, really needs people like Johnny Weir to set the ice on fire. I mean isn't that the direction we want Figure Skating to go? Now that I've seen the Nationals Exhibition - and Johnny Weir skating "Ave Maria"I have to say it just makes me like him even more. I can't help it... Go Johnny!

McLaughlin and Brubaker - they really tore up the ice too, huh? I'm not sure how many more performances we'll be seeing of Baldwin & Inoue.. but that was some moment on the ice for those two. Maybe they stole a little of McLaughlin & Brubaker's thunder?

The ladies - the 14 yo Mirai Nagasu and 15 yo Rachel Flatt. A whole new generation of skaters coming into their spotlights. I have a feeling there will be even more of that.

And you know we love Tanith & Ben. Which is saying a LOT. Because sometimes I think my daughter just pulls for whoever is against whoever I'm pulling for. Not just figure skating but in all sports. We love Tanith & Ben - such incredible passion... Absolutely beautiful skaters.


***For those of you checking the blog to see if I've posted "Getcha Head in the Game" - I'm haven't and I'm not. Not yet anyway. Its been shortened to a minute version for this competition. And I think I'm going to wait until it is the full program to share. I did take my camera to the rink to try and video her during her lesson but she was pretty small in the view finder and I don't think it would turn out well unless I was skating myself and 'chasing her around the ice' as I like to call my filming. So that said... sorry you're prolly going to have to wait til April to see it.

Holiday Video

My daughter's coach gave me a video today of the whole competition from December. It played in my dvd player. I was able to record the tv with my camera (which works some of the time but not all of the time; it worked today). So I'm sharing. Remember that she had a really off day and this is the competition where she fell a lot. I'm excited to be able to share. I know its not the best quality though. Also sorry that I didn't turn off my camera before it added the next skaters names.

Nothing to Share

I guess this is going to be a venting post. My dvd of the Christmas competition - I don't even know what I did with it. It won't play in my computer, won't play in any of my dvd players. I should've just gave it to my parents. Or my brother. At least that way somebody would be able to actually watch it. And my pictures from High School Musical on Ice. None of my daughter's friends' parents have emailed me any pictures. I don't think their parents read my blog so its probably okay for me to complain about 'em. But I'm out there trying to skate. And talk to the cast. And juggling 3 cameras so I can take pictures for everybody else. And I end up with Nada. Its not fair.
Good News. The music is cut to "Getcha Head in the Game" - I've got to come up with a costume. Seems simple enough. But a red basketball jersey and shorts to fit an 8 year old. Ought to say "Wildcats" or "East" on it. A number maybe 14. or 4. Is 4 Chad's number? Or maybe she could just have her own number? At any rate.. I'm pretty glad I don't have to build a fluxcapacitor. Or draw popcorn (you know like one kernel at a time) my daughter skated to "Take me out to the ball game" a couple of years ago. Yep I think I learned my lesson on that one.
Lots of incoherent sentences strung together. .. No pictures... No video. I just figured I needed to say something - its been long time since Christmas.
Aren't you glad you read the blog today?