Here Come the Tears Again

This time last fall my little girl was learning her back scratch spin. It took six months for her to learn it. Six months is a long time to keep trying over and over to do something that you just can't do no matter what. She cried a lot during those six months. Her tears made me feel bad. I felt like everybody was looking at me - judging me - blaming me because she kept trying. She kept skating. And she kept on crying for six whole months. I told her to stop. I told her to quit. Through her tears she told me that she loved to skate. And she told me in no uncertain terms that she refused to quit. Sometimes people just need to cry. This has been a hard year for me, in my life and I've done some serious crying. Sometimes people just need to cry. That back scratch spin came all of sudden some time around New Year's. One day she was crying the next she was getting 6-8 revolutions no problem. The tears stopped then. A few months after that she started working on her loop. Uh falling on her loop. And falling a lot. Then she started landing it. About 10% of the time at first. And then almost all the time she was landing. She cried a lot about it. It was hard. Then she lost her loop. And in the midst of the competition season we focused on what she needed for her programs jumps (combos with salchow, toe loop, half flip, half lutz and waltz jump), forward scratch/back scratch and sit spin. And footwork. And the loop was lost for a while. Now that loop is happening again. Maybe 15% of the time. Every time I think she can't do it she does. She surprises me. But she's crying again. Not so much as with the back scratch. But its been six whole months since she started learning that loop and its not mastered. I think we'll be done with those tears soon. Her single Flip is great. I think the single Lutz will be another story. I know how much she struggled learning the difference between half-lutzes and half-flips and I imagine I'm going to be seeing some flutzes in my near future. And a whole, whole lot of tears. Probably more than I've ever seen come from my little girl. God give me the strength to handle those tears. To be supportive. To resist the urge to tell her to quit. And for God to remind me that if I tell her to give up then I tell her I don't have faith in her. Maybe God will have mercy on her and have that Lutz come easy as salchow and toe loop did? A lot in this sport has came easy for her. The things that don't - the things that come through tears, falls, and bruises - I suppose those are the things that she really learns something from.